Tag Archive | love

Treasures

  

 

    In every single institution in the world,  and anywhere that people hobble together there will be corruption. It is just the way of life, as we all know, and it isn’t going to change. There are generations that had less of the “me”,  and more of the “we.”   The WW II generation is one great example as they were motivated by a cause far above themselves.  Before and since 9/11 we have witnessed sacrifice; we have watched heroes.  But with all of the terrible things that we do see about life, on the news, there are several things that are not corrupted. Two of those treasures, I think, are forgiveness and love.

    As I watched the gray-haired mom crying over her son, Junior Seau, and sobbing with all of her being as she stated that she would have taken her son’s place if she had just known ahead of time that he was going to be gone; I thought about love. I cried.  How terrible to see such a private moment on national television, and all over the world. But it also brings back  a truer reality, this is the crux of life…love. Not who you know, or what you wear. Those things are good, but less important and they look like shadows when compared to love.  When it gets right down to the nitty-gritty of it all, without love none of what goes on in this crazy world makes sense.  There is no greater power to motivate the human heart to become unselfish than the emotion of love. What are we without its blessing?  Not much. What a frightening society we would be if we all lived with only ambition, or pride.

  You can forgive someone without loving them, but I don’t think you can love someone without experiencing the want to forgive.  I remember that saying, ”Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”  Erich Segal.  That has never made sense to me, but it sounds good. Maybe he meant that once you know love then you will never be sorry that you have understood love.  I know that you wise people already know all of these things, but I just needed to write about treasures.  

                                           Who, being loved, is poor?   Oscar Wilde                     

Vivien and Elvis

Shotgun house in Tupelo, Mississippi; birthpla...

Shotgun house in Tupelo, Mississippi; birthplace of Elvis Presley. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  

    Have you ever felt like a fool?  The image I came up with is the court jester: colorful hat full of bells. If every fool wore the bell hat, it is the only music we would hear. Mine would be the loudest of all. Things have just been out of kilter lately. I know you out there have had those days. For me it has been weeks, and the hat still fits me just right until…

   At nine forty-five or so last night, everything was done for the day, and since everyone was busy I stole away to my piano. All my life, I have been infused with gospel music, and this is what I love to play. My neurons can do nothing else.  For some unknown reason, though, “You ain’t nothing but a hound dog crying all the time,” kept singing in my ears. My ever twirling blond mind was working over time. I could visualize Elvis with his microphone, the early years, and belting out the hound dog blues. So, I started to play. I apologize to Elvis because it ended up having a slow gospel feel that was colored by a “Bridge over troubled water” feel.   Before long, I was playing the tune, “This little light of mine,” and I remembered such pure happiness. Such as when being late for Sunday School was the biggest problem in life. I don’t think the neighbors, if we had any close by, would think of the word happiness. I was so scrambled from the fierce horrible combination of genres that I couldn’t visualize Elvis anymore, and ended up on a saxophone driven blues side of, “…and I’m going to let it shine.” For some eternally strange reason I am stuck on, “…little light of mine,” and all of the improvisations that work through my fingers.  I ended up laughing which is just what I needed! So long to my visualization abilities I spoke of in another post.  I think the fool’s hat fell off somewhere in between the hound dog and little light.   I stopped the music when my Dad was gone; he wouldn’t have approved. Let the music roll on.

    With my sweet Dad being such a wonderful force in my life, I can’t complain about my childhood. The only thing I would change is the ability to take piano lessons early, and from someone who actually knew what they were doing.  Since, I have mostly been my own teacher all the sound blame is mine. But the piano is an escape. It takes you to another world, and everything else falls away.  Perhaps I can explain with my helpless use of the English language lately, I will try.  It is a world that lets you feel life deeply, and then it is a world that helps you let things go. It is Brando standing on the stoop calling passionately to Stella.  It is Rocky running up and down the steps, and counting them as a measure to his dream.  It is that moment in Lord of the Rings when the king is crowned, his true love steps through the crowd, and peace finally rules the earth.  And it is the tragedy of a broken family in Warrior as evidenced by the scene of a relapsed drunken father leaning on an unforgiving son…who does forgive. It is joy, faith, love, sorrow, life turned upside down and inside out expressed with a musical scale.  That can’t happen on a keyboard you say?  But that is how it feels to feel the music, and love it back. The music takes over, and you, the true instrument, are just not important at all. The music plays you; maybe you know what I mean. Perhaps, you could tell me what it means to you!

    Now, all of this talk of music leads me to Vivien. She lived next door. Here in Boondockville that can mean 20 acres away.  She was born in Po-dunk-ville then moved to her metropolitan dream, worked at a job where she met, and socialized with influential people. In her seventies, she was still attractive, tall, had gorgeous blue eyes and a shock of red hair that couldn’t be missed.  I could just imagine her at 25.  Talking was her life. She was smart, energetic, and her attitude was vivacious.  She and my Dad would happily argue over God and life. They both felt victorious!  She knew so many famous people that I got a tad suspicious. Especially when she told me that she wanted her cremated body buried in a mayonnaise jar. I am not betraying a confidence, believe me, Vivien would tell you more, and then some, without a doubt. But years later, she showed me “evidence” that someone was working on a book, and wanted her help via facts and photos. It was true! Really it wasn’t too unbelievable knowing her fiery talk-to-me personality, and beauty days.  I didn’t really care who she knew! I liked her just as Vivien.  Later, she unraveled more of her life. Her husband was killed driving down the highway almost home from a guitar gig, and almost to the Thanksgiving meal she was preparing with his Mom. She talked about what a wonderful musician he was, and his songs. They were too young for such nonsensical tragedy. All tragedy is nonsense.

A photograph promoting the film Jailhouse Rock...

A photograph promoting the film Jailhouse Rock depicts singer Elvis Presley. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

   Yes, her husband played guitar as back up to Elvis before the world fell in love with the mania of Elvis. She said she griped Elvis out once yelling that he  better not be late again. He was late for a show. She said that he was just as sweet as could be calling her “maam”, and telling her that he and the boys just stopped for burgers. When she was telling me the story her hands were waving; she was still mad about it. I can see her telling him off!  This is the same woman who was told by the ambulance driver that she couldn’t get in the back of the ambulance. Vivien’s mother had a brain tumor, and needed to be driven three hours away for surgery.  Vivien pushed the door open wider, and stayed. He had no choice!  I miss Vivien! I gave her a painting when she left. She said this town wasn’t big enough for her. I agreed!

    I hope you aren’t asleep by now. The mayo jar concept should have kept you awake….maybe!!  Thanks for reading fellow bloggers. What are words if there is no one to read them?

Cradle the Baby – 4:23 a.m.

Dad's roses

   

 

     I lay there in the dark, 4:23 a.m., and I was thinking about how thankful I am for a precious gift. I can remember!! Watching that movie in my mind, I see all the neighborhood kids waiting to see if that black kite my Dad made, that was almost as big as a Volkswagen, could fly over that scraggly windy field. It did. The sound of the wind gurgling the edges of the thick plastic I can hear if I want to.  I see color folding itself over in browns, greens, pinks faded, vibrant, on a canvas. I see the brush strokes. The aroma of  Dad’s roses, and the cologne permeating the viewing room of my fourth grade classmate who died playing cowboys and Indians. He joked with me before the bell rang, and then a few hours later he was gone. Suddenly  moving forward, I am with  a couple hundred un-wise college kids singing, the Hallelujah Chorus, ”the government shall be upon  His shoulder,” while the expectation of Christmas lightened our silly hearts…wonderful hearts.  I can cradle yesterday like a baby, kiss its forehead, it may wake up and smile or cry whatever the memory may bring. But I have a choice!

 

     Tomorrow is elusive; it is really never here.  We plan on it, but we can’t count on it. I have today at this moment to live some joy, tiny as a molecule or not, and I can find it. I have a choice!

 

     But the person that I love, and take care of does not have the choice of remembering everything about yesterday, or the ability to even began a search for joy today. The questions of why, how, when, or where can’t always be properly answered, and someday, maybe, such a thing as a question will be blank. Someday, faith and the way it moves the soul will be blank. Hope ….blank. Love….blank. Love is given. For now, that gift and others are accepted although not remembered for long.  Laughing in the moment is all there is, because it will not be remembered in ten minutes. Why wrap  a present for Christmas? Why make a joke? Why give at all if it isn’t remembered?  Because for that tiny moment there is a gram of happiness. Love is a binder though, and it crochets together the blank spaces and the threads that are leftover. 

 

     So, I am thankful to have a memory. With that I can learn from my mistakes, plan, dream, hope, gain, lose with grace, fall, know to get up, paint, write, and play music. I can cradle yesterday, put it back in its crib, and leave singing it to sleep. I can live in today. I remember, and I choose a focus of good.     ….Terri O.A. 

     

        

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The final bars of the "Hallelujah" c...

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